Do I need a doula if my partner will be there during labor?
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Hey Mama, great question!
This is one we hear swirling around a lot, actually. It is a bit of a common misconception that doulas aren’t necessary if you’ve got a supportive partner on board.
We totally get it! It can seem like another support person is either (a) going to be redundant, or (b) going to usurp your partner. GOOD NEWS: neither is true. The fact is supporting a woman in labor is a two — sometimes three or four — person job. If you’re having your baby at a hospital, your nurses will be AMAZING, but they have other women to attend to, so you will spend the majority of labor flying solo. Even at a birth center, midwives and nurses will be caring for others as well. It’s a lot of pressure for one person (who has likely never seen a woman in labor before) to be expected to know exactly what to do and how to help.
Here’s another well kept secret — a doula is there just as much to help your partner as they’re there to help you! Especially with a first baby, labor can be a long process. Sometimes, the very first thing a doula will do when she arrives at a couple’s home is to send the partner to bed for a power nap. Imagine having a trusted extra set of hands on board to relieve your partner so they can grab some food, take a bathroom break, rest or just have a moment to reset. Self-care is critical so that your partner can give you 100% of themselves as you labor, not to mention, they’ll be better able to care for baby after they arrive.
The fact is supporting a woman in labor is a two — sometimes three or four — person job.
On the practical side of things, once you’re in labor, you and your partner will likely forget most of what you learned in all those awesome childbirth prep classes you attended. The good news is your doula is like a rolodex for birth — she’s there to cue your partner in ways to comfort you and help you cope with labor. “Remember the hip squeezes you learned? I think that might be helpful.” And then a little lightbulb goes off in your head. Yes! You do remember how to do hip squeezes, and mama L-O-V-E-S them!
A doula’s number one goal is to help a laboring couple feel more connected, engaged, calm and confident….together. She accomplishes this by facilitating the partner in helping their laboring mama so that when all is said and done, YOU look like the rockstar. You’re going to the Superbowl of birth together, and mama is your star quarterback, partner is your captain, and doula is your coach on the sidelines. Because DADS AND DOULAS are on the same team.
Phyllis Brasenell is an Austin-based prenatal and parenting consultant and founder of Austin Born, a boutique parenting center. For more information, visit:
Phyllis Brasenell
5555 N. Lamar Blvd. Ste. C127
Austin, Texas
512-222-5655
info@austin-born.com
Facebook: @weareaustinborn
Twitter: @weareaustinborn
Instagram: @weareaustinborn
The advice and opinions expressed here are those of the contributing author and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Austin Expecting. Please consult with your medical care providers regarding any medical decisions.